It’s an absolute joy to watch them grow. At 4 weeks and 8 years old, I don’t wish either were in a different stage than they are. I do want them to keep growing, but I don’t want either to hurry up.

I enjoy watching them grow slow.

Though growth is often slow, it can be steady. How?

Seasons of trial are often accompanied by feelings of uncertainty, especially when we’ve never faced a certain type of situation before. My wise mom once said to me, “Be thankful because God is developing something in you that you currently lack. If you’ve never been in this situation before, it’s a good thing because God is bringing you one step closer to maturity.”

I think it’s safe to say we’ve never been in a situation like this before— a worldwide pandemic, social distancing, isolation, an entire world shut down, many unknowns and a wait-and-see approach when trying to answer how long this is going to last.

Perhaps you’ve had many moments of feeling overwhelmed and afraid. In trying to stay positive, sometimes we miss giving ourselves permission to grieve what has been lost. While there is much to be grateful for, much has been lost. Grief and gratitude can be companions. There’s a place for both.

In this unprecedented time in history, we also have an unprecedented opportunity to seek the Lord for more wisdom and to count this tough time as joy.

But how?

It took all of a swift second to know what God was asking me to surrender.

My thoughts were still lagging on the crazy train but I was ready to get off. In God’s usual timely fashion, there was an invitation time built into the conference where we were invited to repent if needed— to turn away from something of our own, and turn towards God instead.

We were driving through the beautiful rockies and I was taking in the view. Yes, there were similarities between the evergreens that populated the sides of the highway, but as I stared more closely it became apparent that no two were exactly alike.

Every June my family participates in Betty’s Run for ALS in memory of my dad. In this competition there is only one winner. One has the gold medal adoring their neck while the rest of us gobble up the consolation/participation prizes of hot dogs and mini donuts.

Is spiritual life like this— are we all running the same race, competing for the same prize? Riding on the crazy train of comparison sure makes us feel like we are. But last week I challenged you to ask a question we should always ask, “Is it true?” (You can read about it here.)

Is there one race with one prize?

I took my seat and couldn’t help but notice her.

She looked poised and polished. All the things I felt like I wasn’t. And a quick but slightly obsessive google on my part later that night confirmed she was also more of a professional in my desired field, her established one.

I had just come from leading a breakout session at the pre-conference to this main event. I came humbled, excited and anticipating what God might do, yet fighting the feeling that I wasn’t a “real” speaker which might leave people wondering why in the world I was invited to the table.

Despite the fact that many had been encouraging and affirming of how God had used me that weekend, there I was— on the crazy train of comparing myself to a woman I hadn’t even met.