“He must be having a bad day.”

These were the words I said to Mike as a man in a car passed us on the highway waving wildly at our truck and trailer combination.

“What’s his problem? We weren’t doing anything wrong!”

The man had waved wildly as he passed us, pulled over to the side of the highway and continued waving as we drove by him. When we turned left a few minutes later, he was still waving wildly as he passed us.

A few minutes later, an SUV pulled up beside us on the gravel road we were travelling down, minutes away from our camping destination. With a concerned face, the woman rolled down her window and said, “Your bikes are dragging, hey?” Mike immediately pulled over and we jumped out of the truck to investigate.

As it turned out, the waving man wasn’t having a bad day; we were.

My relationship with dad has been on a journey since he passed away— oddly, without him actually being here.

God has been bringing to light my *interpretations* of things my dad said/didn’t say and did/didn’t do over the years we had together.

In the mix of all of these things, the wrestling, the tears, the laughter and the questions, this is what God gave me as I lingered by the graveside:

Go, Steph, go.

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think about how your dad feels about you— how he feels about the fact that you are his daughter?

How has it influenced how you think God feels about you?

As I turned off the lamp, I thought about how my word for 2017 was discipline and I still felt so far off the mark. I can set a goal like nobody's business but my distractibility, driven by fear, keeps me from faithfully following through. God had been stirring my heart to enforce the margin and boundary around the time I'd set aside to be obedient to what He has called me to do.

My typical response at this kind of crossroads would've been to strive– to promise to try harder and do better– only until I grew weary. Then I would switch to slip out mode– engaging in mindless activities to numb my sense of overwhelmedness, guilt, and failure. Thankfully, God has shown me an alternative– surrender.  

Before drifting off to sleep, in the quietness of my heart I told Him, "We both know how easily distracted I am. I need Your help."

The next thing I knew, my eyes startled open. I found myself awake in my own bed after having the most intense dream. The confusion settled as my dream replayed with clarity. Driving. Dying. Falling. The most vivid, vibrant, beautiful and brillant setting. Dad and his words: two years.

It started with chopsticks and coasters then quickly expanded to include corkboard hot pads. My little man found has taken to dwumming. Any song in our house now has a little extra percussion whether by chopsticks, pens, or the little palms of his hands. He was recently upgraded to a practice pad and his own set of kid-size drumsticks by our friend Dewwick who was kind enough to also throw in some lessons. The smile on my little man's face was bigger than every Christmas morning combined.

Derrick’s teaching strategy aimed higher than simply rudiments. He started out with the goal to instill a love for music in my son. His little hands have already drummed along to jazz and rock among other things. Derrick’s reasoning is that without a glimpse of the bigger picture he will lack the motivation to learn, practice and master the rudiments. 

Too often, we approach Bible study with only a rudiment mentality. It’s necessary and you should do it. The rudiments have become primary principles instead of building blocks of music.

After successfully completing an 8 km run earlier that year, my wonderful ambitious running partner had a brilliant idea of us signing up for a half marathon, 21.1 km. It was a bit of a stretch but we had been diligently and faithfully trained on a daily basis for the 8 km and felt as though we had ample time to prepare. At the end of June, we signed ourselves up for the Canmore Rocky Mountain Half Marathon with every intention of being prepared. It wasn't long before the good intention quickly became classified as seemed like a good idea at the time.

Today is your very own personal New Year. Reflect. Ponder. Plan. Dream. With intention... Let's not miss out on your adventure. You've been distracted. God was clear about that the other day in His Word. 1 Peter 4:1-3. It's time to live with resolve. Like Jesus did. Enough time has been wasted. Live the remaining time for God's will. Because you're prone to squirrels and shiny things, those eyes need to be fixed. Fix your eyes on Jesus.